Being someone who has never savoured motorway driving, mile after monotonous mile of changing lanes and dodging juggernauts, camper vans are not my thing...by a long way.

Loads of folk do it. It's trendy, apparently, like drinking flavoured gin, eating avocados, having a cockapoo and riding an e-bike (And if you do all of that, good luck to you).

Motor homes seem to be on the must-have list of the middle classes but, be warned, the Green Party and the Just Stop Oil eejits don't like it. They screech that such vehicles are adding to the infinitesimal amount of pollution that the UK creates.

As someone who barely drives one thousand miles in a calendar year, the thought of climbing into a camper van to hit the highway is akin to deciding to go somewhere cold for a holiday. I can stay in Scotland and do that.

However, I'm noting more of the motor homes heading our way, and some of them are not happy with what we have to offer.

Certainly, Lorraine Menchini wrote the following lament on the local Fleecebook: "Sadly, my old home town is not camper van friendly. We didn't have a good experience recently finding any parking (including disabled as my husband has a blue card).

"We did eventually find some on John Street after driving around and around. So many places have height barriers up. We just wanted to park."

When Simon Cormack pointed out that Largs marina was a popular choice for vans, Lorraine replied: "Good spot but not handy for the town."

Former community councillor Valerie Lundie commented that the marina was signposted for motor homes. It had no facilities, but was free.

Valerie recounted her own camper van experience in France, where it typically cost only 3 euros a night in municipal campsites.

"They are sooooo motorhome friendly," she enthused. "We spent three weeks touring France. Amazing and lovely to be welcomed."

It seems that the Largs area is not the only one lacking a welcome, as Laura Goodwin exclaimed: "Sadly, a familiar story around the UK - no wonder we prefer mainland Europe - even more so due to rip-off UK!"

However, patriotically, David Turner replied: "There are plenty of places to stay for free in the UK."

Looking on the bright side, Evelyn Irvine suggested that the health centre car park, Vikingar! and "any street parking" was all free in Largs.

"Aye, good luck with on street parking," quipped someone. (Editor's note: Was that you?)

Words of wisdom came from Dan Frazer: "Everyone wants a handy parking spot near the town centre. That's why there's none available! With a van you just have to make the best of it."

Before the online conversation could get out of hand Izzy McAulay came to the rescue with the punchline: "Lorraine Menchini, come stay with us next time." I wonder if she knows her?

In the States motor homes are known as RVs, recreational vehicles.

"Knock, knock"  "Who's there?" "RV" "RV who?" "RV there yet?"

Speaking of cockapoos, an overheard conversation between two dog owners.  First lady: "How do you like Barbie, our new cockapoo?"  Second lady: "Very nice but I have a pure bred poodle."  First lady: "Yes, but ours is more expensive."

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Thought for the Week: Next week is National Grumpy Old Man Day and I expect recognition.

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Look out for the magnificent cruise ship, The Regal Princess, sailing past Largs and Cumbrae on Friday on its latest visit to the Clyde, after stopping over at Greenock Ocean Terminal before heading to both Invergordon, Easter Ross and Edinburgh.

What a boost for Inverclyde to have the tourists visiting regularly from all over the world. In fact, this year will see no fehttp://www.largsvikingfestival.co.ukwer than 90 cruise line visits - a 25 per cent increase - with one of the world's largest liners, MSC Virtuosa bringing 4000 passengers at a time!

This vessel has a northern European tour that includes Greenock alongside Toulon, Barcelona and Malaga. Costa Clyde, right enough.

Buzzworks, who operate Scotts restaurant at Largs marina, have just opened their new business at the Greenock Visitor Centre, while the new £19.2m cruise ship terminal officially opens later this year thanks to funding form both the UK and Scottish governments. The volunteer tourist group play a big part in welcoming the passengers.

Incidentally, if you can't afford a luxury cruise, book up for either the Waverley or the special trips between Largs and Cumbrae on a longboat.

Yes, you read that correctly. During the Viking Festival in a few weeks the Sea Dragon Vikings will sail to Keppel Pier. For bookings go to www.largsvikingfestival.co.uk.