Drew Cochrane: 'Wokery' and cancel culture knows no boundaries

Just as I was preparing to fly 9,000 miles back home the 'Labor' Government down under (yes, they get everywhere) was launching a campaign called 'Challenge Your Bias.'

Mr Punch - I'm not making this up - of the Seniors and Ageing Ministry is demanding a clampdown on so-called ageist language.

No more calling people baby boomers or millennials as, he says, it's causing generational grief. Aussies are being told to drop slurs like 'over the hill' and 'you can't teach an old dog new tricks'. And, heaven forbid, if you hark on about "back in the day" and such like nostalgia. It's old hat if I'm allowed to say that.

God help us - or is that offensive to atheists? - if Labor Minister Mr Punch gets his way. However, the Liberal Party opposition is tipped to oust Labor at the 2025 election and stop the legislation in its tracks.

As one old Aussie said to me, "I rather like that the pretty young woman at the cafe calls me darling but I guess she'll just have to be re-educated, wink, wink".

READ MORE: Cochrane's Column: Take my lead on dogs - don't have them

Mr Punch (is his wife Judy I hear some of you old-timers ask) told reporters that unintentional bias is like picking one shirt ahead of two others because of its colour. Ergo, you are biased towards that colour.

The guy's a political genius, obviously.

Mind you, my 16-year-old Australian grandson thinks that I'm 'passive aggressive' which is another favourite woke expression for those of us who question some of the Millennial and Generation Z beliefs. As happens in the UK, in yon faraway antipodean land the younger elements try to cancel any views they don't adhere to.

The front page splash in the West Australian daily newspaper last week was about how businesses are struggling to recruit school leavers and students for apprenticeships because many won't commit to jobs. One man, reluctantly closing down his motor repair company, stated, "they complain about not being paid more but they'll gladly pay 50 dollars for an Uber to deliver their burgers". I witnessed it!

Grandson student Josh tells me he's going to be rich by the age of 19 in three years time but when I asked why he turned down an extra four-hour shift at his part-time grocery shop job he responded, "well, it'll interfere with my social life". That, incidentally, includes ordering fast food deliveries from his bedroom.

Speaking of shops, the big story on tv during my visit was the scandal of false prices in their leading supermarkets whereby they take, say, a three dollar pack of biscuits and price it at $4.40 for a week or two. They then price the biscuits at four dollars with signs then claiming it's a bargain price.

I have long accused our local Morrisons store of doing the same and our government should follow Australia in taking the stores to court imposing swingeing fines on these swinging prices.

Incidentally, I seem to be becoming well known as a result of this long established column, no doubt. I have just had Facebook friend requests from Paul McCartney and SNP depute leader Kate Forbes. It's social media, so they must be genuine, eh?

And His Majesty, King Charles has just followed me over to Australia. Do you think that's just a coincidence?

Thought for the Week: When you are dead, you don't know you are dead. It is only painful for others. The same applies when you are stupid. (Ricky Gervais)

Forgive me harking on about my trip to Oz but I need to get it out of my system. I certainly appreciated the seafront signs banning dogs from going on the beaches and $100 dollar fines for pooping in the parks, the dogs, not the owners if you see what I mean.

(Image: Drew Cochrane) Then there was the discovery of the singing toilets. Not only are public loos, free to use, aplenty on Australian shores (must be the outdoors life) but some of them are entertaining. I used one that looks like a silver Tardis. Press the button, the door slides open. Another button and you are allotted 10 minutes to do your business.

Imagine my delight when I sat on the pan and lovely music started playing. For those with constipation you will be alerted after nine minutes that you have 60 seconds left to get out with your drawers on. A basin has a triple mechanism for soap, warm water and hand dryer.

Such a civilised convenience but, yes, I know it wouldn't work here. Too many juvenile vandals in Largs.

Oddest sight probably on the Oz seafront was the lady on a tricycle taking her parrot, in a cage, for a ride.

Don't get any ideas, cobbers.