I'VE been trying on dresses and frocks this week (what do you mean, madam that you thought I was a bit odd?) It's all in a good cause because I am about to be a pantomime dame... oh, yes I am!

It won't be the first time I have gone down the drag route - or is it drag race these days? - because I was Dame Dolly Dumpling or something similar in a Largs Players panto of Cinderella at Barrfields Theatre in the 90s.

It is only a small scale show in Fairlie but it has real poignancy to it because the panto should have taken place last year but, tragically, one of the bowling club stalwarts and cast member George Grant collapsed and died at the final rehearsal, and it was cancelled.

Next week's revived event at the club is being held as a tribute to much-loved character George. Like others involved I feel a real sentimental commitment to staging it.

On reflection, I look like one of my sisters but although I played numerous panto characters down the decades I never reached out for the padded bra again... in a manner of speaking. Incidentally, I was once half of the panto horse but I quit while I was a head (boom, boom).

Now, I have to say at this point that I have been declaring for the past 10 years that every show was my swansong but the smell of the greasepaint and the glare of the stage lights keep drawing me back on to the boards. I must be the epitome of the old joke that even when I open the fridge door I have to sing and dance.

I thought, in my advanced years, that I'd completed the full circle when I appeared with Largs Operatic Society in shows like Calendar Girls, having stripped off myself as the old geezer in The Full Monty for Largs Players.

So, there I was last year imbibing a glass or three of my medication - red wine - when my friend Joan Rae mentioned that she hadn't found anyone to play the Dame in the panto "what she had wrote".

Every two years my former Players colleague writes a script for Fairlie Bowling Club and this year she came up with "Snawwhite" which will star champion bowler Wilma Rodger in the lead role along with other talented members.

As my good lady is a bowler, the red wine must have gone to my head when I said to authoress Joan that I would come out of retirement once again to find my feminine side. Well, I always cry at Long Lost Family.

Dame Lily White will, therefore, strut her stuff before the village audiences and, no madam, I don't think there will be any tickets left! I actually went to the library for a book on pantomimes and the assistant said: "It's behind you."

In a way, it's a favour to my pal Joan as we go back decades with Largs Players and we have become one of the legendary stories.

There we were, about 30 years ago, playing against each other in the famous Neil Simon comedy, 'Plaza Suite', when we had an on-stage kiss. Unfortunately, I had applied thick black make-up to my moustache and as we came out of the clinch my actual line was "I've never seen you like this before".

Cool as a cucumber and peering into a vanity mirror, as the script advised, Joan responded: "No, I've never had a black moustache before!" Collapse of audience in fits of laughter.

My only worry, apart from remembering the lines, is trying to stay politically correct. It's not my style but having watched almost all of the Oran Mor pantos in Glasgow they get away with it.

Don't worry that you won't see me in action. You can always catch the traditional Players panto Snow White at Barrfields the following week. I might even be selling the programmes.

Thought for the Week: Don't close the book when bad things happen in your life. Just turn the page and begin a new chapter.

Two guest speakers at the recent Largs and District Dementia Friendly Committee launched a new anti-scam initiative for the area.

As the sticker (pictured) shows people can apply a polite warning to their front doors to turn away unwanted approaches from would-be 'trades' persons. We Do Not Deal With Doorstep Traders it states in black and white, literally.

(Image: Supplied) The local campaign is being spearheaded by police community officer Guy Jenner and North Ayrshire Council trading standards leader Steven Bodys who have been visiting local organisations to spread the message.

A special fund has been granted to Police Scotland to produce and distribute the stickers which are designed to turn away cold callers, particularly for vulnerable people.

"Please leave and do not enter" is the short, sharp message! Sounds a bit like my last day in the office.