While making my way through the thoroughfares of Largs last week an old lady, with tears in her eyes, grabbed my sleeve and said: "Thank God, you're still in that paper, son, it's the first thing I read."

While managing to avoid her white stick and guide dog, I skipped onwards, and was then stopped in my tracks by a lady who surprised me by asking why I hadn't written about the Euros football.

Well, after the debacle of the performances (and that's being kind) by a Scotland team which would have struggled to beat my local ageing walking footballers, I didn't want to compound the misery of our premature exit from Garmisch-Partenkirchen - and, yes, I did need to google the spelling - where, if John McGinn had been able to reproduce his Bavarian dancing on the park, we might have looked better.

As an old journo who has, in his time, reported on football for radio, and all manner of newspapers including the Sunday Post and the late lamented News of The World, I would love to prognosticate on the state of soccer at every opportunity. However, my loyal readers (yes, yous two, slevering in the corner) might not appreciate it.

In fact, the real problem is that this reviled column (Editor's note: Do you mean revered?) has to be written a week in advance. Therefore, a dozen or so Euros games would have come and gone before my pearls of footballing wisdom were published.

However, I did recall writing a column way back in 2018 at the time of the World Cup somewhere (Editor's note: It was Russia) where the headline was 'I'll be the one joining the Kane gang'.

I dared to start my article with "Come on, England, gerrintae em" from the logical standpoint that as Scotland had not qualified I would lend my support to our next door neighbours.

After all, I have a stepdaughter Julie, long resident in leafy Oxfordshire, with two grandsons, mad keen on footy, and eligible to play for Scotland.

Those of us who savour Saturday night Match of the Day highlights - when I avoid hearing the scores beforehand to edge the excitement - are so familiar with the superstar talents of Harry Kane, Declan Rice, Phil Foden et al that it isn't a stretch to cheer them on.

Unfortunately, from my broad-minded point of view, many fanatical Braveheart followers of the Tartan Army blindly cheer on any foreign player who aims any kind of kick against the English, even if they can't pronounce their names.

In an election interview, Stephen Flynn, SNP leader at Westminster, was asked if he would support England at the Euros and he took positive delight in saying 'no'. It pretty well summed up the nationalist outlook.

I identify with Scottish comedy icon Billy Connolly, who stated that he was "the least patriotic person" from this country. In a Radio Times interview the Big Yin, who has had the privilege of travelling the world, said he dislikes people who "write England off because they're Scottish". "It's unfair and brutal," he said.

You are not alone, your Sir-ship. Both of us would be salivating at the thought of Scotland being in the World Cup finals, but we ain't good enough by a country mile.

So, at the risk of having haggis on my face, let me reveal - and remember, I'm writing this before the quarter-finals were played - that I had a flutter on England to win outright, but I will be happy enough if it turns out to be Spain instead. Nostradamus, I'm not.

Speaking of foretelling the future, I also declined to comment on the General Election on the basis that once you know the outcome of a race - and that was weeks ago - you can't have a flutter on it.

Thought for the Week: If vegetables are so good, why are vegans always trying to make them taste like meat?  Take your time, I'll wait.

I write this while most of the election results have come through as I go to press. Suffice to say, that incompetent governments at both Westminster and Holyrood have got their comeuppance from disgusted voters.

Not only were the independence parties, particularly the SNP, trounced with an astonishing swing of over 25 per cent in North Ayrshire and Arran, while the extremist Greens garnered their usual pitiful percentage, but one of the largest Labour victories in the UK was in East Renfrewshire. The winner, Blair McDougall, led the Better Together campaign in the indy referendum of 2014.

As a political anorak I can safely say that I will not see another referendum in my lifetime, but I think I will live to see - and I'm an old guy - a new Reform Conservative Party, led by Nigel Farage.

How illogical is it that Reform get more votes than the Lib Dems but they end up with four seats as against more than 70 seats respectively? It's crazy.